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Showing posts from September, 2024

Moving Forward

I have often wished there was a grief timeline.  I am very much a visual person.  I love to have lists and still use an old school planner.  I have wished for this timeline, a specific date on the calendar, not because I want to get over Matt, but because I just want to know when I will be a bit less fragile, a bit less scatterbrained, a bit less teary over quiet reminders of him I see everyday.  If you know me, you know I am my own worst critic.  I tend to hold myself to a standard I would not hold for anyone else. It’s the way I am wired, and as I have grown older I am very much aware and working to be a bit nicer to myself.  I often tend to equate my fragility as weakness and I know I am not weak.   I’m a bad ass. I have changed tracheotomy tubes and drained chest catheters without formal training. I have flown my kids by myself halfway around the world for a spring break trip.  I’ve managed to keep my life and my kids’ lives going despite the ...