The Daring Widow

When you have a situation that deeply tests your faith, how do you respond?   Praying? Getting angry with God and asking why me?  Turning to any other distraction to ignore the situation at hand?  Or do you have to look at the big picture and find hope and peace in the signs around you?   I was raised in the Episcopal church.  We went every Sunday, faithfully.  I went to church camp and weekend religious retreats, went to youth group and Sunday school, served as an acolyte.  After college, my first job was a full time camp counselor at an Episcopal camp in Maryland.  I spent two summers there.  I felt very strong in my faith and relationship with God.   Matt was raised Catholic.  I know he was not involved in church activities to the extent that I was, however our two backgrounds religiously meshed well.  He was received into the Episcopal church and we felt it important to baptize our kids in my childhood church. Once Matt ...

You wouldn’t think that you can find gifts in the midst of grief and sadness.    Of course, you get the immediate gift of community and loved ones supporting you in prayer, errands, food, flowers, books, donations in your loved one's name.  Soon though, lives go back to "normal" and that support or gift may not be felt as it was after your person passes.  I have been given two gifts from Matt since he died.   One is intangible and has been his legacy gift to me. The other is a tangible gift that still gives me chills when I think about it.   Having had cancer as long as Matt did, we had so many opportunities to have all the difficult conversations.  Finances, college for the kids, last wishes, fears, hopes, worries.  If you knew Matt you knew that he was very thorough, thoughtful, and saw things through until the end.  And because of all of those traits, it absolutely made sense that he would want to make sure his gift to me and the children ...

The Daring Widow My reflections on starting over again…  Hi friends.  I’m Allison, a single mom and with the partnership of my best friend, a small business owner.  I lost my husband and best friend, Matt, on June 6, 2022. He was 45 and me 44 with two teenagers, a son and daughter.  Matt had fought cancer for eight very long years and I was always by his side, as a wife, caregiver and best friend.  “In sickness and health, until death do us part”  Here I was living "In sickness and health, until death do us part" way sooner than ever expected.   Before Matt passed, he and I slowly came to terms with the realization that we would not be together forever, and we began to talk in depth about our future.  As a physician, I think he knew and very much believed that his time on Earth would be shorter than anyone ever thinks.  He only spoke the fears and facts to me, as we lay in bed side by side talking each night.  He simply knew too much abo...