The Daring Widow

So... I have been dating... in secret.  Ever since I decided it was time for me to begin meeting new people, I have found myself being secretive.  Of course, I know that not everyone needs to know my business, but as I think back on this first year and a half of dating, I have not been honest with myself.  I have not been honest with my friends and family and as such I have not been open and authentically myself.   My first date after Matt passed was actually with a long lost friend.  He lives out of state and happened to post a picture on Facebook of himself hunting a few hours South of me.  A quick comment on a photo led to a flurry of messages and phone calls.  I remember exactly where I was on that first phone call.  The first time I heard his voice in twenty-six years his deep Southern drawl unearthed a faint memory I had buried somewhere in my brain.  But what really caught me off guard was that he called me Allie.  Subsequently, e...

As I have mentioned previously, one of Matt's lasting gifts to me was the gift of peace.  He was such a thoughtful, kind, thorough husband and human being and, as such, he truly did have nearly everything done before he left this Earth.   We had the funeral plots selected, the type of burial service chosen, knew all the pallbearers- if it was to be done, Matt and I had talked about it and made decisions.   However, as a man who's last few texts to me before passing included information on our taxes, you know he would have most definitely left me a list of things to follow up on after his death.  I did not find this controlling or demeaning, rather the opposite.  To me, this list of to-dos brought me comfort.  Pay taxes - check.  Call the Social Security office - check.  Follow up on his student loan - check.  One by one, every last box on his list was checked off.   There was, however, one "to-do" that was only spoken amongst a few ...